Managing Selective Eating in Children

As parents, it is really common to worry when your child is a picky eater. Mealtimes become a battle, and can be exhausting. You also fear that your child isn’t getting the nutrients they need, which adds to the pressure.

The good news is that selective (picky) eating is normally a phase many children go through, and there are plenty of strategies you can try to encourage healthier eating habits. It is also important to recognise when picky eating might be a sign of something more, especially if your child has Special Educational Needs (SEN).

Understanding Selective Eating

First, it’s important to note that most children experience a phase of selective eating at some point in their early years. This is often a part of normal development as they learn to show their independence and they experiment with different tastes and textures. However, for some children, selective eating can become more persistent and may require extra support.

Common causes of picky eating include:

- **Sensory Sensitivity**: Some children are highly sensitive to textures, smells, or the appearance of certain foods.
- **Fear of New Foods (Neophobia)**: It's common for young children to be wary of foods they haven’t encountered before.
- **Taste Preferences**: Just like us adults, children have individual taste preferences that evolve over time. Hands up if you don't like marmite! :) 

Tips for Managing Picky Eating

Here's some tried-and-tested strategies to help manage fussy eating and encourage your child to try new, healthy foods.

1. **Make Mealtimes Fun and Positive**
Try and avoid turning meals into a battleground. Letting your children know that your worried, or putting pressure or even punishment onto them, can often lead to more resistance and push back from them. Instead, try to create a relaxed, positive environment during meals. Talk about the foods, maybe give them names such as Billy Broccoli or Sally Spaghetti. Let your little ones understand that food is not something to be scared of.  You should also try to make the focus on family time rather than the food itself. Sit with them at the table, show them you're all eating at the same time, chat about your day or what they did at school. 

2. **Involve Your Child in Meal Prep**
Children are more likely to try foods  that they’ve helped prepare. Get them involved in planning meals, shopping for ingredients, and cooking. Let them create mess, feel the food textures, and smell different things. You can even try doing small experiments with them to show them how quickly something melts, or freezes. This can help them feel a sense of ownership and curiosity about what they’re eating.

3. **Be Patient with New Foods**
It can take multiple exposures to a new, before a child gets used to it.. Don’t give up after the first few tries. Encourage small bites, and celebrate their willingness to try new things, even if they don’t like the food initially. For the first few tries just put the new food on a seperate plate next to their 'safe' food. Don't force them to touch it or eat it, but just have a small portion of the new food next to them. If they want to play with it or try it then that is a win! 

4. **Offer Choices**
Give your child control by offering choices. For example, “Would you like carrots or broccoli with your meal?”  This will make them feel more in charge and may make them more open to trying something new.

5. **Role Model Healthy Eating**
Children mimic what they see. If they watch you enjoying a variety of different foods, they’re more likely to want to try them. They want to be like their mums and dads, and they are naturally curious. Let them see you eating fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, and make positive comments about the food.

6. **Use Creative Presentation**
Sometimes the way food looks can make a huge difference. Try cutting fruits and vegetables into fun shapes, making colorful plates, or arranging food in a playful manner. Visual appeal can spark curiosity. You can use cake / cookie cutters to cut out shapes. 

 7. **Avoid Using Food as a Reward or Punishment**
Using food as a reward can create an unhealthy relationship with eating. Instead, focus on encouraging a balanced diet and celebrating the experience of trying new things, rather than focusing solely on "good" or "bad" eating habits.

When to Be Concerned

While picky eating is common, there are instances where it might be a cause for concern. Here’s what to watch out for:

- **Nutritional Deficiencies**:

If your child consistently avoids entire food groups, it might lead to deficiencies in key nutrients like iron, calcium, or vitamins.

-**Failure to Thrive**:

If your child is not gaining weight, growing as expected, or seems consistently tired or unwell, it’s essential to seek medical advice.

 **Food Refusal Leading to Anxiety**:

If mealtime anxiety seems extreme, or if your child exhibits signs of distress or fear around food, it might be worth discussing with a doctor or health visitor.

Understanding Selective Eating in Children with SEN

For children with Special Educational Needs (SEN), such as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), selective eating may be more pronounced or long-lasting. Sensory processing difficulties are common in children with SEN and can appear as extreme food aversions. Here’s what you need to know if your child has SEN and is a selective eater:

1. **Sensory Sensitivities**
Children with autism or other sensory processing issues may find certain textures, tastes, or even food colors overwhelming. Foods that are too crunchy, too soft, or have strong smells may cause discomfort and overload. It can help to slowly introduce new foods in a way that respects your child’s sensory preferences. Sometimes, working with an occupational therapist trained in sensory issues can be beneficial.

2. **Routine and Familiarity**
Children with SEN often thrive on routine, and food is no exception. They may prefer the same foods repeatedly because it gives them comfort. While it’s good to introduce new foods, do so gradually, and try to maintain some of their favorite, familiar options alongside new offerings.

 3. **Work with Professionals**
If your child’s picky eating is severe or causes nutritional concerns, it’s helpful to work with professionals like a pediatric dietitian, speech and language therapist, or occupational therapist. They can help create strategies tailored to your child’s unique needs.

Selective eating can be really challenging for parents, but it’s important to approach it with patience and persistence. Focus on making mealtimes enjoyable, and try different strategies to encourage variety in your child’s diet. Remember, in most cases, picky eating is just a phase, but if you’re concerned about your child’s growth or if they have SEN-related eating issues, seeking professional support is a positive step.

If you want more advice or just need some support from other parents who are going through similar issues, then you might find our community useful. We have a wide range of childcare experts available in our community, along with other parents who are happy to answer your questions and give you the support you need. 

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